Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It takes a true turkey to get the wrong turkey

Posted by TheYank at 11/26/2009 4:53 AM EST

What I'm about to say is such a cliche that I'm reluctant to even tell this story, but here goes.

There are times when I amaze even myself with my ability to accomplish things that probably are beyond most people's imagination. Or at least most women's.

Remember yesterday how I mentioned that I was going to collect the Thanksgiving turkey we'd ordered? Remember?

Pretty straight-forward, right? Drive to store, give my name, receive turkey from butcher and pay. What could be easier?

I drove to the store all right and then my innate talents took over. My actions were so swift, so graceful that even now I'm dazzled by them. The way I was able to so deftly and so quickly snatch defeat from the jaws of a certain and easy victory... Let's just say not many could've managed it.

The trouble started when the butcher handed the turkey to me. It looked huge. We'd ordered a 14-15lb turkey, but this one just looked massive. So, I checked,

"This is a 15lb turkey?"
"Oh, yes, is there a problem?"
"It seems awfully big."
"I might be able to get you a smaller one, about 12lbs."
"That would be great."

Five minutes later he came out with a turkey that he said was 12lbs. It looked a lot smaller, which only convinced me that the other one was just too big. I didn't look too closely, just said thank you, took the turkey, paid and left. I was feeling great the whole way home.

As soon as I walked in the door and my wife said, "That looks awfully small." "It's a 12lb turkey." "It's too small."

Not feeling so great now, but an hour later I finally decided to look at the turkey and the packaging and what did I see? Well, the turkey comes from the Smiths' farm in Newbliss, Co. Monaghan. That's nice and reassuring. But then I saw it. I smoothed out the plastic wrap and there was the weight, clearly marked: 4KG.

I would love to be able to fall back on all sorts of claims of ignorance, such as I'm not used to the metric system (sort of true, I still think in pounds & ounces) or I didn't know the conversion (I did and I do - 2.2lbs to every kg) or I couldn't do the calculation in my head (4 times 2.2 - ehh, I don't see how I can even try that one). So, now we have an 8lb 13oz turkey instead of the 14lbs we were supposed to have.

We'll still have enough for dinner, but my weekend of turkey dining is out and I have only one person to blame. As does everyone else in my family.

Thanksgiving – a piece of America that Ireland should embrace

Posted by TheYank at 11/25/2009 8:14 AM EST

You'll often hear people in Ireland complain about the American influence on the culture here. I don't always disagree. American television, music and movies seem to be everywhere and a lot of it is just garbage. Anytime I see or hear Britney Spears I know they have a point.

Holidays too, are not beyond American influence. People frequently blame the changes in the way that Christmas, Easter, St. Patrick's Day and Halloween are celebrated on American influence.

In a week or two many Irish people will have their homes bedecked in flashing Santas, snowmen, sleighs, and all sorts of light displays. None of this existed here 15 years ago. Back then all you'd see was the family Christmas tree in the window of a house - there would be no outdoor decorations. Now every neighborhood is like Times Square. American influence.

Yet, there's one American holiday tradition that refuses to leave America's shores – Thanksgiving. Yup, tomorrow is one of the biggest days of the year in America, but here it's simply Thursday, November 26. No holiday, no parades, no football (that's another sad story), no nothing. It can be the most depressing day of the year for an American in Ireland.

Instinctively all Americans know when Thanksgiving comes around. It's ingrained in our DNA. When that 4th week of November comes around you begin to salivate at the thought of the big turkey dinner, like some Pavlovian dog. Whether you're state-side or in Ireland or anywhere else for that matter you've just gotta have turkey.

It's easier said than done, however. You can't find a turkey in the stores here. All the turkeys in Ireland are earmarked for December 25. And if you have to work a full day tomorrow, there's no time to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner.

Those are obstacles, but not insurmountable ones. First, many Americans here shift their celebrations from Thursday to Saturday, when they have the time needed to prepare the dinner. Also, for those who don't have family here, a Saturday celebration makes it easier to invite over a few Irish friends to take part in Thanksgiving. (Just because it's not a holiday here, doesn't mean Irish people will turn down a nice big dinner and a couple glasses of wine.}

As for the turkey, you have to order in advance. We order from a supermarket near enough to the American embassy. They're used to us Yanks and our specific needs for turkey a month in advance of the Irish populace. When I called to place my order a couple of weeks ago, Dave the butcher heard my accent and right away stopped me with, "Thanksgiving, right?"

Somehow I like that. I like talking about Thanksgiving. I want people here to know about it. In fact, I think it would be great if Ireland took up the tradition.

Who doesn't need a day to take a time out from all the hustle and bustle? A day with no cards, no gifts, no nothing other than time? Time to reflect? What's not to like? And this year, possibly as much as any in the lifetime of anyone alive here today, Irish people could use such a break. It's bad here, but we still live in a safe and relatively wealthy country. We still have quite a bit to be thankful for. It's not Somalia.

Me? I'll be picking up our turkey later this evening and the whole family will sit down to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow afternoon (after school - life's tough for some). My stomach and I can hardly wait.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Speaking in Dallas, President Kennedy said ...

Posted by TheYank at 11/22/2009 4:20 PM EST

Back in the summer when I was in America my father and I were going through his collection of old newspapers and clippings and other things. One of my favorites was a clipping he had from the old New York Journal American from November 22, 1963 - the day President Kennedy was killed.

The Journal American was an afternoon paper and the copy my father has was an extra brought out following the assassination. The front page is exactly as you might expect.



However, this paper was - as it shouts at the top - an Extra. The first two pages or so were all about the assassination, but inside the paper was as it was supposed to be on that afternoon. Included inside was an article that was written and published about an event that hadn't taken place yet, yet the report was as if it had taken place: a full report from the Associated Press on the President's speech to the Dallas Citizen's Council, the Dallas Assembly and the Graduate Research Center of the Southwest.

In the article it says President Kennedy "lashed out" at Senator Barry Goldwater, although he never mentioned him by name. The President also "took a jibe at Sen. Harry F. Byrd of Virginia," who I'd never heard of before I read his name in this article..



There is nothing earth-shattering in the article, other than it exists at all. Given all that happened on that afternoon and over the weekend I wonder if the Journal American ever regretted the hasty Extra or if the AP regretted writing the news before it happened.

President Kennedy was killed 46 years ago today.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Aren't all Irish teens just like Americans now?

Posted by TheYank at 11/16/2009 3:05 PM EST

I was surprised that fellow American Bridget English says that Americans in Ireland are still easily identifiable. Bridget says she was told that even if you ignore clothes are overlooked, Americans' teeth tells people where they're from before they speak.

Why was I surprised? I guess I figured that Bridget's fellow students at Maynooth would be like those whom I know through my daughter. I'll admit I'm not the most observant person when it comes to fashion, etc., but unlike 20+ years ago when I came here as a student, young Irish people seem to dress and look the basically the same as young Americans.

Irish girls have long hair, wear lots of make-up, etc. In the 1980s I often heard about American girls' "big hair." And the make-up? Maybe it was too pricey back then, I don't know, but Irish girls didn't wear much of it.

As for the teeth, all of my daughters' friends seem to have had braces. In fact, I thought the braces were pretty much the norm throughout the country now.

Other fashions that were once peculiarly American have also taken off here. Loads of people wear baseball caps - most seem to have the dreaded NY of the New York Yankees - and men wear shorts. In the 1980s men just didn't wear shorts and those who did - mostly American tourists - were objects of curiosity and, often, a bit of light-hearted fun.

Never mind the look, to my ear the accent has even become more American. Californian, really. I'm sure anyone from California would not agree, but today's teens - in this area, anyway - sound more like extras from 90210 than Dublin/Wicklow kids. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I find it annoying hearing all these Irish kids sounding like they're from Glendale or Marin County.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

Posted by TheYank at 11/16/2009 10:03 AM EST

The Christmas lights are going on all over Ireland now. No, not in people's homes, although the Irish Mail on Sunday carried a report yesterday about a Muslim Iraqi family who love Christmas and put their tree up early, very early, November 3 this year. But, for the most part the Christmas lights being turned on are in the stores, malls, and the main streets of Ireland's towns and cities. No different than America, really.

Although there are few Christmas sights inside people's homes, it's the time of year when people can enjoy some of the smells of Christmas. This weekend my wife made the Christmas cake, Christmas puddings and mince pies, filling our house with an odor that is distinctly Christmas. All that fruit, nuts, flour, whatever, oh, and the alcohol - whiskey in the cake, brandy in the pudding - baking & cooling fills the house with a happy smell.



Even those in this house who don't eat any of the traditional Irish deserts - just for the record I eat 90% of it - like the smell. For some it's just a pleasant smell and for others it's the first sniff of Santa.



Of course, the cake isn't done yet. It's a three act play. Saturday was only the first act - the mixing and baking. Next, in a few weeks, will come the almond icing. Then, nearer the big day,
the white icing and decorations are added. Usually the decorations are left to the youngest, for whom adding sugary Santas, snowmen and wreaths is part of the excitement. Then it just sits there, taunting me until Christmas Day.

Monday, November 9, 2009

President Obama should have been in Berlin

Posted by TheYank at 11/9/2009 3:21 PM EST

I'm sitting in my living room here in Ireland where I just finished watching the ceremony from Berlin marking the 20th Anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. It was a tremendous spectacle and a great occasion. There was only one aspect of the ceremony that struck a discordant note: the absence of President Obama.

Where was he? I cannot understand why he wouldn't want to be there. Everything that happened in 1989 was the culmination of a long, hard struggle undertaken by the United States and our NATO allies.

Celebrating the end of Communist rule in Europe is not a Republican vs Democrat thing. It's an America vs totalitarianism thing. By not going to Berlin today President Obama signalled that to him the destruction of Communism was not all that important.

Well, it was important to President Truman who decided that the Soviet Union had to be confronted. In 1948 when the Soviets tried to starve the people of West Berlin, President Truman ordered that the city be supplied by air. This was a costly, logistical nightmare that stretched the American and British air forces, but it was a price worth paying as far as President Truman was concerned.

In 1963 President Kennedy made his famous "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech, indicating America's support for the people of West Berlin who were then penned in by the new Berlin Wall. In 1987 President Reagan, in a speech to celebrate the anniversary of the founding of Berlin, challenged Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev to "tear down this wall," which was a symbol of the four decades of Communist tyranny endured by the people of Eastern Europe.

It wasn't just those three either. Every President throughout the Cold War reiterated America's commitment to the people of Europe in the face of the Soviet threat. For that reason President Obama should have been in Berlin tonight. The celebration was about more than the removal of a few pieces of concrete: it was about the victory of freedom over tyranny.

It wasn't solely an American victory, but America played the leading role. I have no doubt that any of President Obama's predecessors would have been in Berlin to celebrate what was accomplished and to mark the sacrifices made by Americans over a 40-year period. He should have been there.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Dublin in the dark

I spent a good chunk of my day in Dublin - where I rarely venture on the weekend - and now I'm back in the city, near the Custom House. Not really accomplishing much. I was walking around for a while and now I'm drinking coffee while I type this.

I had to be in Dublin this evening to run an errand. Rather than go right home, I decided to go for a walk. The streets where I was walking were mostly deserted - it's pretty cool (about 45) and breezy - and there's not a lot happening down this end of town. I saw no tourists out tonight and the average Dubliner has way more sense than to be out walking on a cold, dark November night.

Dublin doesn't have a bright skyline like most American cities have. In fact, the only things that stick up high into the sky are the ridiculous spire on O'Connell Street and the dog ugly Liberty Hall. (Can you say a building is "dog ugly"?)


However, if you do walk around at night* you can find some well-lit, attractive old buildings like the Customs House. That's why I wanted to go for the walk this evening because even though a walk in late June would be more pleasant, the sun doesn't set until well after 10pm so you can't experience Dublin's fine buildings all lit up.

Earlier today I was at the new National Museum at Collins Barrakcs down the Liffey from here. I was there only once before and it was shortly after they had opened this new facility. I was unimpressed then and was in no hurry to return. However, today they advertized a family day to learn about Ireland and the Great War, so clearly I had to go. The family came too.

It was a mixed bag on the WWI events - they called it a family day, but really it was mostly aimed at gray-haired men and definitely not at anyone under 21 or so. The museum itself, however, really impressed me. The displays were a lot more substantial than I remembered them and there were enough interactive displays to amuse and educate the under-10-year-old. We all agreed that we'd have to make a return visit.

Before the National Museum moved in during the 90s, Collins Barracks was the oldest military barracks in the world still in use.

*Do watch where you go if you venture out at night. Don't go up the dark streets. It's far from danger free.

Dublin in the dark

Posted by TheYank at 11/7/2009 4:06 PM EST

I spent a good chunk of my day in Dublin - where I rarely venture on the weekend - and now I'm back in the city, near the Custom House. Not really accomplishing. I was walking around for a while and now I'm drinking coffee while I type this.

I had to be in Dublin this evening to run an errand. Rather than go right home, I decided to go for a walk. The streets where I was walking were mostly deserted - it's pretty cool (about 45) and breezy - and there's not a lot happening down this end of town. I saw no tourists out tonight and the average Dubliner has way more sense than to be out walking on a cold, dark November night.


The Customs House

Dublin doesn't have a bright skyline like most American cities have. In fact, the only things that stick up high into the sky are the ridiculous spire on O'Connell Street and the dog ugly Liberty Hall. (Can you say a building is "dog ugly"?)

However, if you do walk around at night* you can find some well-lit, attractive old buildings like the Customs House. That's why I wanted to go for the walk this evening because even though a walk in late June would be more pleasant, the sun doesn't set until well after 10pm so you can't experience Dublin's fine buildings all lit up.

Earlier today I was at the new National Museum at Collins Barrakcs down the Liffey from here. I was there only once before and it was shortly after they had opened this new facility. I was unimpressed then and was in no hurry to return. However, today they advertized a family day to learn about Ireland and the Great War, so clearly I had to go. The family came too.

It was a mixed bag on the WWI events - they called it a family day, but really it was mostly aimed at gray-haired men and definitely not at anyone under 21 or so. The museum itself, however, really impressed me. The displays were a lot more substantial than I remembered them and there were enough interactive displays to amuse and educate the under-10-year-old. We all agreed that we'd have to make a return visit.


Before the National Museum moved in during the 90s, Collins Barracks was the oldest military barracks in the world still in use.

* Do watch where you go if you venture out at night. Don't go up the dark streets. It's far from danger free.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Blown away by the north coast

Posted by TheYank at 11/4/2009 3:20 PM EST

As I mentioned yesterday, we were up north last week. Just a day trip, which is possible now thanks to the vast improvement in the roads here. There was a time not that far back when a day trip to the north was such a bone-shaking, nerve-shattering experience that advertisements in the national papers advised people against making journeys of over 150 miles in length, such was the state of the roads. That lasted right up until, well, the current decade.

The roads are better, but there is still nowhere to stop for a bathroom break along the whole route except the Outlet in Banbridge. The clever folks who run the Outlet lure in the unsuspecting motorist from the south with clean bathrooms and two choices of coffee and then mesmerize them with shop-loads of cheap goods. Before they know what's hit them their wallets are empty and they're loaded down like pack mules and searching for their car in an over-flowing parking lot. The spell's only broken after they've forced down the lid of the trunk and have started the engine.

When we finally escaped the clutches of the Outlet we made our way north to the Antrim coast to fulfil a two-year-old promise to our youngest to bring him to the Giant's Causeway. {Cursed teachers and their continued insistence on educating the young. Don't they know us parents would rather plop them in front of the t.v. and let it be at that?}

I've been there four or five times before, but in all prior trips I was able to plan around the weather forecast. This time the promise of the trip was made so far enough in advance (two days) that there was plenty of time for the forecast mild sun to be replaced by cloudbursts and gale-force winds. It wasn't actually all that bad when we finally got there, but it was very gloomy and very windy.

We stopped first at Bushmills distillery for no good reason other than it was there. It's not like anyone in the house drinks whiskey, although I came away with a sampler. Then we made our way to Dunluce Castle. Every time I'm at Dunluce all I can think is, "Who on Earth would build a residence there?" Last week in the gloom and wind and threat of rain it was even more striking how inhospitable the location is.


From Dunluce it's only a short hop to the Giant's Causeway. I've gone through two completely different reactions to the Causeway: on my first visit I couldn't get over how odd the geological formations were. On my second and third trips I coudln't get over how many people made the trip to see what are, after all, not much more than oddly shaped rocks.


Now I just appreciate it for what it is: interesting, peaceful and beautiful, although not breathtakingly so as are other parts of the north coast. Worth visiting. And, given the numbers of people who were there on the day we were there, bad weather
and all, many people agree.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Way up north, where the shoppin's good

Posted by TheYank at 11/3/2009 1:30 PM EST

I was shopping 'up north' last week. That might not sound like a big deal, but it is something of an issue here.

Now, just to get a few things straight - (a) no, I wasn't shopping alone; it's not my thing and (b) shopping was more of an incidental part of our journey north and not the main focus. Still, the weather was so bad we ended up extending our shopping by about two hours, which suited some members of the family just fine.


For a lot of people who live on this side of the border, however, the trip north these days is all about shopping and nothing else. The strength of the euro and the difference in the VAT rates (sales tax, but it's always included in the price) combined make the price of goods on the far side of the border much cheaper than here.

Obviously, the store-owners on this side are not happy about this. Nor is the government because they're losing out on tax revenues. Of course, the retailers and the government have it within their powers to change those factors that make the trip north so inviting, but they'd rather moan and curse than do something constructive.

{Oh, and there's one more group that's not all that happy - those northerners who live near the border and now find their shopping centers, and the roads to them, over-crowded thanks to the people flooding in from the south. A recent survey found that 70% of the cars in the parking lots of border-area shopping centers were from this side of the border.}

We get fairly regular pep talks from various government ministers and retail representatives encouraging (begging) us to shop local and not go north, but it's a lost cause. Some commentators try to use economic logic on us - saying that the price of gas & tolls for such a trip can be €30, which means you need to make a lot of savings to make the trip worthwhile.

It's all to no avail. If Yogi Berra lived here he would undoubtedly say something along the lines of, "Nobody shops up north any more. It's too packed." And if my family is anything to go by, it doesn't take long to recoup your €30 investment in gas and tolls through savings.

In fact, thanks to the stupidity of some of the big UK retailers here, we can see what the savings are with little effort. The price tags have both the euro and the sterling prices, depending on which side of the border you're on.


One top my wife bought was marked at £30 and €47, which is a difference that is far greater than can be explained by the differences in the exchange and tax rates (should be closer to €35). It doesn't take a genius to realize you're being overcharged in euros. You buy a two such shirts and a couple bottles of wine and you've saved your gas and toll money.

Of course, nobody stops at that. You shop til your car can hold no more and drive home with savings measured in hundreds.

This isn't a new topic, but thanks to the near death of the economy it feels more desperate than it has in the past.

Way back when I first came here there was a lot of chatter about people going north to buy alcohol, which was (and is) a lot cheaper up north. Stories about people driving north to fill the trunks of their cars with crates of beer and spirits were a part of the Irish Christmas back then. However, there was rarely any discussion of people buying other goods - it was always only about alcohol. These days alcohol is only a part of the story.

Last week along with those shoppers just looking to dress their families, etc. there were reports of wedding parties and wedding guests heading north to take advantage of the savings. I heard one couple on the radio describing how they'd saved hundreds on an engagement ring. I could almost hear every other engaged couple instantly saying, "We should do that."

And now Christmas is coming. The economic downturn was bad enough, but retailers down here fear that the lure of big savings north of the border might be the end for many of them.

Sure we'll all regret it when our shopping centers are full of emptiness, just rows of abandoned stores, but unless the prices on the two sides of the border equalize it is pointless urging people to think about the big picture. People will always go to shop where they get the best value for their money.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Yesterday was April 15 in Ireland

Posted by TheYank at 11/1/2009 3:12 PM EST

For some Irish people yesterday was the most frightening day of the year – the day when they finally finish filling in their annual tax returns and pay what they owe the taxman. In America the big day is April 15, but the Irish tax authorities allow an extra 6½ months and require that returns be filed and money owed be paid by October 31.

Now the truth is that for most Irish taxpayers the day passes without notice. If you're an employee whose tax is deducted from your paycheck – known as PAYE – and you have no other source of income you don't have to file an annual return. The PAYE workers have the right amount deducted during the year so that they owe and are owed nothing. (Funny enough most PAYE workers could probably get some money back if they filed, but many, probably most, don't.)

However for the growing number of people here who, like me, work themselves or in temporary positions, October 31 is the day the return must be filed*.

The October 31 deadline surprises me now that our tax year matches the calendar year, but it wasn't always so. Until 2001 the tax year ran from April 6 - April 5. Odd dates, no? Well there's an interesting bit of history to that tale.

Centuries ago it was common to call March 25 New Year's Day. "What?," I hear you ask. Yep, March 25 was thought of as New Year's Day in many places around Europe, including England and Ireland.

"Why March 25?," I hear you ask. Well, you have to think back to year 1 and why 1 was followed by AD. That AD – anno domini – meant that year 1 was the year when the Lord was first among us. Okay? Now when would the year have started? Well, Jesus was born on December 25, but his conception was presumed to be nine months before that. So, March 25 was the first day of Year 1. March 25 was New Year's Day. Hard to get your head around that, isn't it?

So when accounting first began many businesses, guilds and/or cities adopted March 25 – March 24 as the accounting year. "But," you reply, "how do we get to April 6 – April 5 as the tax year?"

Well, hundreds of years ago the calendar was changed to adjust the leap years/leap days rules to better keep the calendar in line with the sun. So, what was March 25 was suddenly April 6. Hence, the accounting year changed and, therefore, we got the strange tax year that prevailed here until 2001 (and which still prevails in the UK).

Now fast forward to 2001. The government decided to make the tax year line-up with the calendar year. The move meant that the tax year ended 3 months earlier than it had, but the government decided not to shift the deadline for paying and filing. So we now have 10 full months to clear up our tax affairs after the tax year ends.

Unfortunately, for some of us that means an extra three months of procrastination and does nothing to alleviate the tension associated with the last week of October. October 31 remains the scariest day of the year.

* In a bid to reduce the amount of paper the revenue authorities need to handle, the the filing date is extended by two weeks for those who file and pay online.