Swimming in the Irish Sea – for the fool-hardy & the brow-beaten

Swimming in the Irish Sea is not for the fainthearted. I should know because I'm fainthearted and the Irish Sea is cold - really cold.

How cold? I don't know, but someone I know who has sampled both the waters off Maine and the Irish Sea says the two are about the same. What I do know is it sure ain't summer at Jones Beach or the Jersey Shore.

I don't have a temperature for the water at Greystones, County Wicklow, but it's so cold it hurts. Oh yeah, I go in the water, but resignedly, never happily. It's my family's fault.

We go through the same routine annually. The weather 'heats up' - hits 70F or so - and next thing, "Let's go for a swim" is being uttered enthusiastically. I run through a series of protests until my wife shoots me that 'for the children' look and I cave. Off I go towards my rendezvous with destiny all the while thinking dark thoughts about how those same children eat me out of house and home.

That was the situation yesterday. It was warm, the warmest day of our summer so far. I suspected I might hear the dreaded words, but the fact that two of our three children are away had me hopeful. I was wrong. Just when I should have been eating dinner I was making my way to the sea.

Once I get to the water's edge it always takes me a while to get in. Like I said, it's so cold it hurts, but this time even my wife thought it was cold, probably due to the fact that June was absolutely freezing. Yesterday took me longer than normal.

Bit by bit I got myself in. After each step along the way to submersion I waited til the pain gave way to numbness. Eventually my entire body was numb at which point I started to enjoy myself.

After a few minutes swimming and playing I exited the water only to realize that the sea breeze I'd noted on the walk down suddenly felt pretty sharp. The air temperature was around 65F. It was warm enough to defrost me so I could feel the pain again, but not warm enough to prevent the teeth-chattering, knee-knocking, shivering that lasts about 20 minutes.

On the plus side, the water is clean (far as I can tell). I mean, what self‑respecting germ or contaminant would be caught dead in such cold water? When the heat eventually makes its way back into your body you start to feel good about the swim, like you've accomplished something and you've experienced some form of natural beauty.

That thought keeps you going right up til the next warm day, when the dread sets in again. Is there no chance of rain today?

Ireland and global warming – electric cars, but colder winters

In April 2010 the Irish government announced a whole series of measures that would ensure that battery‑powered electric cars gained a significant share of the car market here. Like Dylan at Newport, Ireland is going electric.

The government's plan includes significant investment including: tax breaks to cut the price of electric cars, charge points provided by the government-owned Electricity Supply Board {photo} and other incentives to encourage the purchase and use of electric cars rather than the gasoline/diesel models we're all used to now. The goal was that 2,000 electric cars would be on the road by the end of 2011 and 230,000 by 2020.

I've indicated before that I'm not totally averse to the idea of a battery-powered car, especially as a second car, but I'd forgotten all about the government's plans for electric cars until last week. I had just parked my car in Dublin Airport's new parking garage when I noticed that the three spaces next to mine were reserved for electric cars, that in fact such cars' batteries could be charged there.

The very next day I saw my first new-generation electric car, a Toyota Leaf. It was in front of me as we headed down the highway. And, although I haven't noticed them yet, the ESB has installed charge points all over Dublin. That's probably my fault because I haven't been looking, from what I hear they look like parking meters and would be easy to overlook.

Charge points around the capital city, dedicated spaces in a public parking garage and electric cars on the road, the government's plans are probably progressing just fine, right?

Maybe, but Dublin Airport and ESB 100% government-owned. They'll do as their owner instructs. The one car I saw still had dealer license plates. I haven't seen one for which a buyer has shelled out $43,000 (after tax breaks) or so.

Will the government's targets be met?

I don't know, but ESB's web site says the plan now is only for 1,500 charge points nationwide by the end of 2011. I'd love to know how the sales of electric cars are going and how many people have had charge points installed at their homes.

More important than the targets, however, is whether this is money wisely spent?

All of the incentives and investment from the government are for one reason: to combat global warming. Maybe the earth is warming up and maybe it's not, but last winter Ireland experienced its coldest winter in 40 years and the long range forecast is that the coming winters will be even colder. Our climate seems to be changing for the colder.

All of which begs the question: is all this taxpayer-funded investment in electric cars the best use of funds if our winters are getting colder? Using the same funds to properly insulate our homes and offices seems more sensible.

In fact, it's possible that the money spent in getting electric cars on the road will seem like a a colossal waste of money if we still don't have the necessary equipment to keep the roads clear when it snows. The fact that a few happy electric car owners can charge their cars for free at Dublin Airport will seem like a sick joke if the airport shut for days on end again due to the lack of proper snow-moving equipment.

Even our European overlords, who are heavily promoting the 'green agenda', will be none too happy if our national coffers suffer another let down due to the fall-off in productivity caused by a few inches of snow. It could be a chorus of boos for the government just as it was for Dylan at Newport all those years ago.

{Photo thanks to ESB.ie}

4th of July in Ireland - a chance to flag up sales

It's the 4th of July and you'd almost think it's a holiday here in Ireland, what with all the mentions of it I've seen. Dublin Airport is decorated in Stars & Stripes, local pubs are offering America-themed entertainments and specials, the local supermarket is using Old Glory to encourage shoppers to buy donuts and other "American" food and the hardware store is selling stars & stripes paper plates and napkins to go along with your Independence Day barbecue (which they're selling too).

These sorts of sales and events have been going on for years, but it feels like it's everywhere this year. Some people might say it's thanks to President Obama's visit in May and how he's made American 'cool' again (or whatever), but I'm skeptical of that explanation.

I think it's more likely that with the recession still biting deep, retailers are just trying any angle they can think of to entice shoppers to part with their money. Thanks to the prevalence of American popular culture the 4th of July is fairly well known as an American holiday, even if what exactly it's all about is lost on many people. It's a case that 4th of July equals America which equals a chance to sell stuff using American flag decorations.

There are no references to Jefferson or Philadelphia or the Liberty Bell or anything to do with what Independence Day means to Americans. It's all about an opportunity to sell things, which doesn't bother me in the least.

America has always been keen on commerce. I seriously doubt John Hancock or Ben Franklin would have any problem with Irish businesses trying to turn a buck piggy‑backing onto our big day. Besides, haven't American businesses been using St. Patrick's Day as a sales opportunity for generations? Turnabout is fair play, as the saying goes, and it won't surprise me in the least if I see someone selling "Kiss Me I'm American" buttons this time next year.

Of course the 4th of July is not actually a holiday here. Most Americans who wanted to observe the holiday did so yesterday. The American Ambassador, however, celebrates today.

Appropriately Ambassador Dan Rooney hosts the grandest 4th of July celebration at his residence {photo} in the Phoenix Park. The Ambassador has invited thousands of people to take part in sports, including football (American style), and American treats. It helps to have 1,750 acres of park land as your back yard. My own gathering will be significantly smaller.

Have a happy 4th.

Only in Ireland - wet Dublin's water shortage

If you're not in Ireland you may not be aware of the fact that we're having a drought here. If you are in Ireland you are absolutely, 100% certain we are NOT having a drought. Yet, despite what now seems like weeks of daily, heavy rain showers, we have water shortages.

There are times when Irish people use the expression "only in Ireland" when it's definitely not "only in Ireland." News about corruption in politics? "Only in Ireland" you'll generally hear, but that's certainly not true. All democracies experience corruption and Ireland is actually ranked better than most.

However, the other day I was watching the news headlines with a friend when the newscaster mentioned our water shortage and my friend looked at me and said, "Only in Ireland would you have water shortages in such weather." I couldn't disagree.

It was raining at the time and, in fact, I couldn't recall the last time we had had two straight days without rain. Yet I also couldn't argue with the evidence just presented on the television of a reservoir that was far from full.

The report was thanks to Dublin City Council's warning asking people to conserve water. They asked us not to water our lawns. Well, no argument from me because ... God's got that one covered!

I really don't understand how we could possibly have a water shortage. I know we had a (relatively) dry spring, but come on. It has hardly been Phoenix here.

According to the official records, Dublin had only about 60% of the normal amount of rainfall during the spring. But let's face it, 60% of Dublin's normal rainfall is still a lot of rain. There are many cities on Earth that would love to get 60% of Dublin's normal rainfall.

This is one of those examples where you can see how the Celtic Tiger years were truly wasted. The city of Dublin grew rapidly during the time, but the water infrastructure wasn't improved or expanded as the city grew.

Nearly a quarter of all the water pipes in Dublin are 75 years old or more. They leak. A lot. That's one source of our shortage.

On top of that we need new reservoirs. The city grew, but the supply of water didn't. We're near the point where demand equals supply. There are plans to draw water from the Shannon, among others, but nothing is definite yet.

The only definite is that the government wants to meter and charge for water. I can see their point, but imagine how much easier it would have been if they government had actually tackled this when the coffers were overflowing rather than just jacking up public sector pay? Now every household is going to be expected to pay for water, which has been free up to now, just when many households are drowning in debt.

That's how we find ourselves this June in a Dublin soaking in rainwater, its citizens being asked to conserve because the reservoirs are short of supply. Only in Ireland.

{Photo – Vartry Reservoir from Water Supply Project - Dublin Region.}

North Wicklow's own Hotel California?

Now that the days of squeezing pennies out of the peasants has passed the descendants of the local landed gentry have to find new ways to pay for the upkeep on their large homes and estates. Killruddery House in North Wicklow is no exception.

There are concerts there during the summer, movie and television programs are filmed there (Angela's Ashes, The Tudors, Camelot are three you might know) and there is a regular stream of events for which the general public can pay into the estate. All very praise-worthy, much better than their plan to sell off more of the land for housing development.

All of which brings me to their new sign.

The other day after my trip away I was driving by Killruddery when I saw that they had a new sign outside the main gate. The sign is an attractive invitation to the passing public to drop in.

You can (pay to) visit the house, (pay to) visit the beautiful gardens, (pay to) walk the hills that make up much of the estate or (pay to) enjoy one of their many special events. The sign is a lure.

Nice sign, I thought, but then I saw what was written on it. Immediately I said to myself, "Sometimes phrasing and grammar matter."

Right there on their nice new sign beneath the name Killruddery was their new slogan: "A Place To Escape." Uggh.

Of course I knew what they meant, but my reaction was to laugh at them. "Sounds like Colditz or Alcatraz or, better yet, Hotel California."

You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!

I'm know that's NOT the image Killruddery's owners have in mind. In fact, I'd be surprised if they weren't happy at the end of each day when the last of the riffraff leaves their grounds.

That's not what their sign says, however. According to the sign getting away from the place is the real joy. Time for Killruddery sign 2.0.

Jedward and Westlife - perfect openers for Obama

Niall O'Dowd is unimpressed with the warm-up acts for President Obama's speech at College Green in Dublin this afternoon. The two headline acts are Westlife, a rapidly aging boy band, and Jedward, well, if you don't know you probably don't want to know.

O'Dowd's problem seems to be that these two groups (acts/bands/whatever) are completely devoid of talent. He feels they compare badly with Van Morrison, who preceded President Clinton's address in Belfast in 1995. He's right about that. When Morrison sang his song Days Like This the President and the massive throng gathered to cheer him sang along in joy at the prospect of peace. It was a real moment of meaning, something people remember and look back on fondly.

I agree with O'Dowd on Van Morrison and how he compares with Westlife {photo} and Jedward, but today doesn't call for a singer/song-writer of Morrison's ability. Why? Because unlike in 1995 when the people of Belfast, indeed the people all over Ireland, had a real reason to cheer and celebrate the American President, today's love fest has nothing whatsoever to do with anything President Obama has done for Ireland or anything else he has done since taking office.

If today's large crowd was there to cheer the President for his boldness in waging war and especially for the operation that killed Osama bin Laden, I'd be thrilled. Yet, I know that a large chunk - possibly the majority - of those who'll be there will either be indifferent or uneasy about all that.

The mostly young (I'm guessing) crowd can hardly be there to thank the President for the fact that his Treasury Secretary shot down a better bailout deal for Ireland. After all, quite a few amongst the gathering will undoubtedly have to leave Ireland in the not-too-distant future because we owe a debt that we cannot repay priced in a currency we can neither afford nor control.

Maybe they hope that by showering the President with adulation today he will be so moved that he will start pumping Green Cards into the crowd with one of those air cannons they use for tee shirts at sporting events. If that's their motivation then I say "Good luck to them," but there's no hope of that.

The truth is none of that matters to the crowd. They will yell and shout and cheer the President's speech, which I expect to be mostly feel-good platitudes and little else. There will be nothing of any real importance said and his starry-eyed audience will adore him for it.

In other words, he'll look good and he'll probably sound good, but there will be no substance to his lyrics or his performance - just like Jedward and Westlife.

Strange sights and sounds in Dublin with Queen in town

If a building can be happy then without doubt the happiest building in the world yesterday was the main building at the front of Trinity College in Dublin. Flying on the top of the flagpole above the building, waving wildly in the stiff breeze was the Union Jack, last seen above Trinity 90 years ago. The flag was probably the same one that flew above Trinity in the early 1920s, lovingly stored all these years waiting for this very occasion.

The British flag was in honor of Queen Elizabeth II who was visiting the college on the first day of her visit to Ireland.

According to the media the Queen's visit is all about symbolism and protest, which you can read about elsewhere. From what I saw yesterday the spectacle of the Queen of England on the streets of Dublin was more a matter of curiosity and inconvenience than anything else.

I've read elsewhere that crowds were "thin", which maybe they were, but from where I was there seemed to be a fair few people gathered. Were they all there to cheer the Queen? No, but nor were they there to heckle. Most of them were there to have a look, but more than a few were there because they couldn't get to where they wanted to go.

For many days in advance there had been warnings on the radio letting us know that streets would be closed during the Queen's visit. Like a lot of people, I assumed this would have an impact on those who wanted to drive or take the bus. It hadn't occurred to me that closed meant closed to everyone not in a police uniform.

For the better part of three hours yesterday afternoon you literally could not get from one side of Dublin to the other. O'Connell Street was shut tight; you couldn't walk across it. Dublin was cut in two.

I overheard many conversations between gardaí (police) and those who wanted/needed to get across: German tourists, members of the "new Irish" trying to get to work, men in suits who had meetings on the far side. No one was allowed over. They announced there would be a "ring of steel," but many, including me, didn't really take them at their word.

Like I said, there was a good crowd and when the Queen passed by - fairly quickly encased in a Land Rover - there was some applause and one or two heckles. The people who seemed happiest to see the Queen, those clapping most, were the old people. I can only guess as to why that should be.

I think part of it is the celebrity culture. We all like to imagine that celebrity culture is a new phenomenon. This ignores the fact that there were plenty of celebrities - Marilyn and Joe D were as big as any today - half a century ago. The Queen herself was a well known young celebrity in the 1940s and 50s. For a lot of those older Dubliners (and others) she still is "their" celebrity.

I also think the Queen's older fans perceive her as a symbol of values that are vanishing. Whatever about her life of privilege, the Queen is admired as someone who is stalwart in her devotion to duty. She stands in contrast to many of the younger ninnying royals.


Royalist or anti-royalist you couldn't help but notice how strange Dublin was yesterday. It was incredibly quiet. No traffic, no buses idling at bus stops and on those streets that were closed, but not on the Queen's route, virtually no signs of life at all. Along the route a lot of people standing waiting, but few making noise. Strange. I'm curious to see how different the city is on Monday when President Obama comes to deliver his speech outside the front of Trinity College.

Carping over Osama's death - you've gotta laugh

It took longer than I expected, but the hand-wringing, breast-beating, someone-ran-over-my-puppy whining about the manner of Osama bin Laden's death has really kicked in over the last 36 hours.

I was waiting for it all day Monday. When I hadn't heard much I thought that perhaps the people of Ireland were so enamored of Barack Obama that somehow the 'usual suspects' would feel compelled to shut up about poor 'ol Osama meeting his untimely demise. I'm certain that if bin Laden's killing had happened under President Bush the "discomforted" would have taken to the airwaves instantly and been firing off op-ed pieces and letters to the Irish Times before bin Laden had had time to make friends with the fishes.

So there was a pause, but since yesterday morning the Irish Times letters page has been chock full of head-shaking tut-tutting about the "extra-judicial assassination" of bin Laden. Cry me a river.

Oh, and it's not just the letters to the editor either. High-profile political television programs, call-in radio shows, political cartoons {see above} and a number of newspaper columns have provided plenty of space for the "disquiet" to be expressed.

From what I can make out these people are scandalized that "the Americans" failed to politely ask Pakistan for permission to search Osama's compound, failed to get an internationally approved search warrant, sent armed men in to capture Osama and failed to acknowledge when he said, "Okay, copper you got me fair and square" all under the watchful gaze of President Obama.

And, yes, they're scandalized by "the Americans", but they're actually horrified that this has happened under President Obama and not the previous occupant of the White House. I get the feeling their little dreamworld is collapsing around them as they digest the image of the President sitting, watching as Osama bin Laden is killed, rather than captured, under the President's orders. Oh, and nobody should have been in any way happy to learn that Osama was dead. Oh no.

There are some Americans here - those who didn't like President Bush and who moved here since, say, 2004 - who are only now realizing it wasn't just Bush that this vociferous group disliked. They don't like the United States of America.

Actually, that's not quite fair. They don't dislike America, but the America they like doesn't exist, has never existed and will never exist. The America they like is one where 300m Americans never vote for a government that would act in the nation's own self interest.

As for me, I find this stuff amusing. I don't get angry, but there was a time when I did. I got angry back in the fall of 2001, but really I'd heard a lot of the same stuff during the 90s and when the rawness of September 11 wore off I was able to ignore it and laugh at it again.

Don't get me wrong. If you let them, these people will get under your skin. You have to ignore them or listen to them as if they're a bunch of 17-year-olds discussing the meaning of life in hushed, serious tones. You know they mean what they say, but you really just want to laugh in their faces.

By no means do these moaners don't represent a majority view among Irish people. I'd probably venture that not even a sizable minority are at all worried by the fact that Osama is no more.

The cry-babies are not a completely insignificant number of people either, though. What's really annoying is that they always seem to end up on the radio, on the television and in the newspapers. They create the effect of seeming to be everywhere, of their views being widely held.

What really has me curious right now is whether the usual rent-a-mob protesters will take their cue and be out in force protesting over the upcoming visit of President Obama. Will they wave placards denouncing him as a war criminal? Will they demand his arrest? As of now, I kind of doubt it.

It was one thing to oppose President Bush, but it will be another to be so vocal in opposition to President Obama, who is very popular here. If they're going to be consistent, however, they can't just moan today and let it lie in 18 days time. They have to be out there on May 23rd opposing President Obama's visit. If they are it will look bad if they're shown in any American news clips, but in a way I hope they are out there making a scene. It will be a really good chuckle.

Celtic blessing no match for modern stupidity

It's dark and damp in this part of Ireland today and for once that's not unwelcome. Large parts of the country have been ablaze recently as unusually dry weather has allowed ludicrously stupid people to set large tracts of land on fire. These wild fires are known as gorse fires here.

Early last month I read that an ancient Celtic custom with a Catholic priest and an Anglican reverend blessed the gorse on a hill overlooking Belfast. The hope was that the blessing would protect the hills around Belfast and save them from fire.

Unfortunately, the blessing was unable to prevent fires ravaging some areas - Counties Offaly, Tyrone & Donegal were particularly hard hit - and causing a serious nuisance in many others. Firefighters have been busy day and night fighting these wild fires, most of which were apparently deliberately set.

That's just it with the modern world, isn't it? I would bet that back in the days of the ancient Celts that no one would imagine deliberately setting fire to a field. Life was hard, plenty of toiling in the fields and the people had enough respect for God's creation not to go playing with something as dangerous as fire. These days, empty-headed, idle teens (and adults too) get their jollies lighting bushes on fire during a long dry spell.

I don't know what success the blessing of the gorse had in the old days, but it can't overcome the free will of those determined to act idiotically.

Bin Laden's death: good news that could have waited

Read more: A tribute to those Irish Americans we lost on 9/11

Read more: Bin Laden death brings justice to still grieving Irish families

When I answered the phone I was expecting the worst, something seriously wrong with someone in my family or my wife's. I let the phone ring once more to try to ensure I was as awake as possible to hear what was being said.

"Hey, how ya doin? It's ..." I recognized the voice and I knew the name - a friend of mine from college. I shook my head and turned and looked at the clock again: 4:10. That's 4:10 AM.

"I'm fine. You do realize it's 4 o'clock in the morning, right?" I can't remember if he said that he'd forgotten about the time difference or not. I don't think he really cared. He was so excited he just had to call to tell me, "Osama bin Laden is dead."

Obviously, that's good news, but I don't think I conveyed that to my friend. There's no doubt I wasn't as excited as he was and the phone call finished up after two minutes.

As I hung up the phone, I became aware that not only was my wife awake, but so were the children. I told my wife who was on the phone and what he had to say. It was pitch black, but I didn't need to see her face to know how she was looking at me.

After reassuring the children that all was well, we settled down to resume our sleep. For me, however, sleep was elusive. At 5:00 I gave up, figuring the alarm would be going off in under an hour anyway.

I put the television and computer on and started to feel it, the satisfaction that Osama had been killed by American forces and didn't die in his sleep as an old man. It is really good news, although I'd have been more excited if it had come in May 2002.

At around 5:30 I started to feel bad. I still wasn't feeling as excited or as joyous as those gathered outside the White House or in New York, but then again I noticed that most of those appeared to be college students who would think nothing of blowing off a class or two to make up for lost sleep. Still I was wondering if I should have been chirpier when my friend called to convey the news.

Then another fact dawned on me: today is a national holiday in Ireland. I didn't need to get up at 6:00 after all. The rest of the family won't be waking for hours.

Grrr. Bin Laden's death is good news, but it's good news that could have waited. Bad news can't wait, but good news can be patient. It would have felt just as good at 8am as it did at 4.

Read more: A tribute to those Irish Americans we lost on 9/11

Read more: Bin Laden death brings justice to still grieving Irish families

It's low key, but many Irish people will watch the royal wedding

I was in England the past few days, which means I saw and heard a little bit (actually tons) about the impending nuptials between Prince William and Catherine Middleton (aka Will & Kate). Every store is selling Will & Kate stuff and patriotic paraphernalia, such as flag bunting, etc. Every news bulletin is dominated by Will & Kate.

I can't say I got caught up in the excitement, but nor can I say that it annoyed me in any way. What I can tell you is that it didn't come up in any exchange I had with any English people. I didn't raise the topic and nobody I spoke to raised it with me.

So all I can say is that my sense is that English people are pleased by tomorrow's big event, but not generally insanely wild about it no matter what you might see of people camping out near Westminster Abbey or read in USA Today or whatever. I think for a lot of people in England it's a day off {photo: tee shirt that can be seen in England) and the start of a four day weekend, which is always welcome.

What of Ireland and the royal wedding? I don't have a great feel for how much interest there is here. I saw a poll that claimed that four out of every five people here will not tune in to the wedding. At first I thought that sounded reasonable as it's a work day here (south of the border, anyway) and I can't imagine many workers making a big effort to watch the wedding. I'm sure many will steal a few glances if they get a chance.

However, schools are still closed for Easter and I suspect the number of teenage girls who'll watch tomorrow's festivities will be pretty high. The political issues of royalty and monarchy hardly feature in their thinking, but let's face it Kate Middleton is living out the young girl's fantasy: marrying the handsome prince. It's a fairytale wedding and the two are massive celebrities, which only adds to the appeal.

I bet if the polling company had polled teenage girls they'd have found that a lot more than 20% of them will be tuning in tomorrow. Teenage girls aside, I figure the viewing audience here will be higher than the 20% that the poll indicated. I'm not alone in that thinking either. Two of our four national television stations are showing the wedding live, which tells me that the television bosses suspect Irish interest is higher than that poll suggests.

And me? Well, I won't be watching. No, I'm not just saying that. A few weeks back I made an appointment for tomorrow morning to go to the US Embassy to renew my son's passport. I will be in the United States Embassy in Dublin right as the wedding kicks off. I will also be with my wife, who doesn't mind missing the proceedings, because United States law requires both parents sign the passport application in front of the consular officer.

Of course, there is always the possibility that the embassy will be providing live television coverage of the wedding. Given what I've read of American interest in the royal wedding, it's probably not that long a shot.

Finding Richard Nixon in County Kildare

Yesterday I experienced something that is all too common for visitors to Ireland: I drove around aimlessly trying to find someplace. I knew I was close to where I wanted to go, but I couldn't actually find the right spot.

I had to go to County Kildare yesterday and when I was done doing what I had to do I decided I'd drive to a few places I was keen to see. One of those places was Bodenstown Churchyard, where Irish nationalist hero Theobald Wolfe Tone* is buried. Wolfe Tone's grave is one of Ireland's national shrines. Or so I thought.

I didn't know where I was going, but I did a quick check on Google Maps to get a good idea and then entered Bodenstown into my GPS as "my destination." Soon I was in Bodenstown, but there were no signs telling me where to go next. At a crossroads I went right and drove for about five miles along a narrow twisty road. Eventually I realized I'd gone wrong and decided to abandon my search for another day when I'm better prepared.

I blame myself for not having sought out the GPS coordinates for Tone's grave before I left, but really I still believe there should be signs especially as I now know that I was only 1,000 yards from the graveyard when I took my wrong turn.

I also wanted to see St. Brigid's Cathedral in Kildare town. As well as the Cathedral, I'd hoped to see the Round Tower that is on the Cathedral's grounds. The Cathedral and tower constitute of one of the prime attractions in the area.

I knew I was going to be near-by, so I figured I go there. Mistake. The Cathedral {photo} is run by the Church of Ireland and they only open the gates to visitors from May through September. I can't say I was devastated when I discovered this, but I sure as heck was happy I hadn't gone far out of my way to visit either. Another day. Maybe.

The last stop on my itinerary was the one for which I had the lowest expectations: Timahoe, Co. Kildare. I had no idea what I might find there, but I knew President Nixon had gone there in the early 70s to visit the home of his Irish ancestors.


Timahoe, like Bodenstown, is not a big place. Village would be overstating things. For that reason I wondered if the local people would acknowledge the Nixon connection. It didn't take me long to realize the answer was 'No'.

I drove from one end of Timahoe to another and saw no mention of Nixon. Seeing as this took less than two minutes I turned around and headed back and took the one turn-off I passed. I drove along an extremely narrow, twisty road through farmland when I came across a "Quaker Cemetery".

There was still no mention of Nixon, but I knew he was a Quaker and thought I'd take a look. Just inside the gate, stood one stone in a small field. The inscription on the stone read: "In Memory of the Irish Quakers of Timahoe, dedicated on October 5, 1970 by Richard Milhous Nixon, President of the United States of America whose maternal ancestors are resting here."

Sure Nixon resigned and all that, but he was President of the United States and the fact that he found his way to Timahoe to dedicate this stone in a field demonstrates that Timahoe meant something to him. He also named his Irish setter King Timahoe. A little reciprocation is in order.

I can't understand why the people of Timahoe don't provide a few signs pointing the way to the Quaker Cemetery. It is a place of at least some interest to Americans. What harm could it do to show people the way? Of course, if the people of Kildare are none too keen to point the way to the burial sites of a national hero I suppose I shouldn't expect an American President's ancestors to get better treatment.

{* Tone's son William served in Napoleon's army. Following Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo, William Tone went to America where he served in the American army. He's buried in Brooklyn, as is his mother Matilda, Wolfe Tone's widow.}

Time in Ireland will not win votes for President Obama

Here we go again. Despite the fact that people here know a great deal about America, the media, and to a lesser extent the public generally, knows next to nothing about Irish-America. Don't ask me how this can be, but it's true.

Today the Irish Independent declared that President Obama's "popularity is likely to soar among the Irish‑American vote in the US when he addresses the Irish people at a rally in Croke Park."

Now if you voted for candidate Obama and you remain a fan of him today, you're unlikely to have your positive views of him soured by a warm welcome at Croke Park or pictures of him being greeted by (very) distant relatives in Moneygall, County Offaly. If you are not a fan of President Obama today you are very unlikely to change your mind about him because 80,000 Irish people cheer him heartily or you hear some in Moneygall singing "There's no one as Irish as Barack O'Bama." A serious cringe and an upset stomach are far more likely.

This sort of thing really makes me laugh. There are times when people here talk about Irish‑Americans as if they're children waiting for the lead to be given from the ancestral motherland.

This is bad enough when we're talking about aspects of Irish culture - such as dance or music - but when it comes to American politics you think they'd trust Americans to make up their own minds. But no. A selection of happy shots of people in Ireland applauding Obama is all that's required to get Irish‑Americans to throw their weight behind his campaign for reelection.

Sheesh. Regardless, despite what people here anticipate, I doubt that there will be much coverage of the President's time in Ireland; 60 seconds on the nightly news bulletins and maybe a couple of minutes on daytime CNN is the most I'm expecting. I suspect most of the American press will go straight to Britain, where the President is heading for a state visit after his pit-stop here. {Of course, Irish Central will have EXTENSIVE coverage of his time in Ireland.}

If the weather's good - and it generally is in May - there could be some nice scenic shots of the Irish countryside, which will do the tourism business no harm. A picture of the President looking out of Marine One at Clonmacnoise {photo} in 'his' Co. Offaly would be ideal.

That's all the upside I'm hoping for.

On some maps Ireland looks massive

There are times when I wonder if Irish people have a distorted sense of how big Ireland is. I was reminded of this today by a text from a listener read out on a radio program.

I was listening to a discussion between an Irish presenter, Sean Moncrief, and an American guest when the American confused Ireland as part of the UK.

This sort of thing happens every so often. I don't get fazed by it because I know know a lot of Americans are pretty hazy about the whole Irish-British-English-Scottish-UK thing. Moncrief corrected him and I actually thought the American realized the mistake he'd made. It wasn't a big issue.

A few minutes later Moncrief read out the text, the gist of which was Americans know nothing of world history, only American history, which is ingrained in their minds through the education system. Basically we're a bunch of ignoramuses. {I started getting all huffy about this when Moncrief smoothly indicated the error of the texter's ways.}

As I said, this comes up pretty regularly, but today I just couldn't stop wondering why do people here think Americans should know something about Ireland?

Obviously, Americans with ties to Ireland will know some, maybe even a lot about Ireland, but why would the average American know anything about Ireland? It's a small island with a small population off the coast of Europe. If Ireland was one of the 50 states, it would be about in the middle population wise and in the bottom 20% in terms of land area. Small.

The truth is I think Americans know far more about Ireland than they do about Austria, Honduras, Togo or Azerbaijan, which are all similar in terms of land area and population. Yet people here think Americans should know more.

So I was thinking about why this should be so and came up with two possibilities: (a) Irish people know so much about America that they expect the same in return and (b) it's because of the maps. The first point is true and I'm sure goes some way to explain Irish people's incredulity that Americans know so little about Ireland. But I like my maps theory.

The maps used in Irish classrooms to teach children geography are massive; they make Ireland look huge. Day after day, year after year day-dreaming kids are staring up at the map absorbing the lesson that this is a big place.

I know it sounds silly, but I've met people here who have a good grasp of the distance from Belfast to Cork (215 miles) who somehow think that driving from New York to Orlando would be about the same (1,100 miles).

I remember once having to explain to graduate students that to anyone in America or China or just about anywhere else on Earth the distance between Belfast and Dublin would appear to be practically nothing. It actually took these people - all of them smart - a few minutes to accept what I was saying. If I'd been aware of the giant classroom maps then I'd have told them to banish those memories.

That's a mystery solved. Irish people have a distorted view of Ireland's size and influence - and thus expect others to be knowledgeable about the country - due to the maps used in their schools.

{Map from Ars Magica.}

Extra daylight means extra trouble for Irish parents

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time Ireland 'sprang ahead' over the weekend and reestablished the five hour lead over the east coast of America. Couldn't have you catching up, could we?

Now the sun sets an hour later, which is a good thing. Right?

It's particularly good if you're coming to Ireland during the summer. On those occasions when I've been traveling around Ireland during the summer months I've always loved how it's daylight to 10pm or later. I have clear memories of one weekend at a friend's house in Kerry when I was a student and really loving the evening sun at 10:30 at night. No better place on Earth.

But it's not all good news. The late sun is a real pain in the neck for parents.

Picture this: the air is warm, the sun is still pretty high in the sky and every kid in the neighborhood is out playing. It's a great scene. A great scene until ... a mother or father steps out of their front door and hollers out their child's name.

Within seconds a laughing face goes from curious to stunned to disbelief to wailing and gnashing of teeth. The child thinks it's around 6pm, but it's 9:15 and time for bed. And it's May 15 - there are still six weeks of school left, which means this scene will play out 30 more times before the school year ends.

The worst part, of course, is that there are always some kids whose parents leave them out until darkness falls. That means the 'incarcerated' lie in their beds stewing, listening to their liberated friends still out playing.

Of course, as May turns to June the sun sets even later making sleep even more elusive for the youngster. Parents yield more and more so that children who should be in bed by 8:30pm are still out playing at 9:45. They have to be shaken awake in the morning and head off to school only barely conscious. Teachers will tell you that they get practically nothing done in June because the children are just too tired.

It's all just part of what it is to live at 53 degrees north, I suppose. I live on the east coast and I'm sure it's even harder for those parents along the west of Ireland. They probably have trouble getting their children off to sleep much before 10:30.

I know tourists like that hour in the evening. Most local people do too. Yet I'm not alone in wishing it wasn't so. The battles ahead will be wearying. I've played this game for the last 15 years and have a few more ahead of me. I'd have been just as happy to leave that hour in the morning where it was.

{Photo: Dingle, Co. Kerry from Tourism Ireland.}

Ireland has its own March Madness

It's March 17 and that can mean only one thing. People have been waiting for this day all over Ireland and in America too, of course. Yes, it's time for March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament.

Okay, that's a lie. There is virtually no interest in the NCAA Tournament in Ireland. Basketball is a popular game to play here and there are some NBA fans in the country, but interest in the college game is limited to Americans who live here and those Irish people who spent years living stateside, especially if some of that time was spent in college. Maybe now thanks to digital television - ESPN America in particular - more Irish people will be drawn to the great spectacle that is the NCAA Tournament.

So the Irish don't gather at water coolers to discuss the office's March Madness pool. {Fortunately for me that need is met by a pool among my college friends. I have Georgetown winning it all.} No NCAA pools, but I could if I was a gambler - and I'm decidedly not - go into my local Paddy Power betting shop and (legally) bet on each and every game in the tournament. Paddy Power doesn't miss a trick, although I doubt there's much Irish betting on the tournament.

No NCAA here, but the bookies do cash in on Ireland's own form of March Madness. Cheltenham. Those who have lived in Ireland (or Britain) are fully aware of Irish people's obsession with the 4 days of racing in the west of England.

For many Irish people - more men than women - this is what St. Patrick's Day means: Cheltenham. They seem to live for the chance to get over to England on St. Patrick's Day. To these people talk of the patron saint and national holiday and parades is blah, blah, blah. It's all about the horse-racing.

I'd never heard of Cheltenham before I moved here and it surprised me how important this English race meeting is in Ireland. I mean, there are big Irish race meetings - Leopardstown at Christmas time, the Curragh around the Irish Derby and the Galway races - but nothing compares with the interest in Cheltenham.

I'm not a fan of racing. I have never been to a racetrack in all the years I've lived here. I've never set foot in a bookie's shop to bet on a horse race (or anything for that matter). It's not my thing. But even I'm aware of Cheltenham, how the "Irish" are doing (that refers to the horses as well as the "punters" - bettors).

You can't miss it because it's live on television, a top item on the news, front pages of the newspapers and, if you're listening to the radio during the afternoon, whatever program you're listening to will be interrupted to bring each race live to those who can't be in front of a television.

During the Celtic Tiger years Irish attendance at Cheltenham was massive, but it's fallen off somewhat since our economic collapse. Maybe not as much as you might imagine, however. So those who can, still go and those who wish they could go, get themselves to the bookies to place their bets and then find a television or radio in the afternoon to follow the action.

I thought growing up near Saratoga that local interest in that annual one month of racing was very high, but it is as nothing compared with the focus on Cheltenham. It's a madness that overcomes the people of Ireland every March.

{Photo from Getty Images.}

Hey New York, send us some snow

It hasn't snowed in Ireland since before Christmas. You might recall that Ireland was frozen solid for weeks before Christmas, with canceled flights, impassable roads and bursting water pipes. Since then, however, there hasn't been so much as a fleeting flurry.

In the same period, the northeast of America has been getting buried. Another big storm the other day; New York got another 19 inches. I know if you live in New York or anywhere in the northeast, you're probably sick of snow. Irish people felt that way in December.

But you know what? (I'm going to whisper this lest I alert a lynch mob...) I'd love a few inches of snow. Not a whole lot, just 3 or 4 inches.

Why? I'll tell you why. During our post-Christmas visit we went shopping at Wal-mart. While we were walking around the store my eye happened to catch sight of the snow shovel supply deep in a far-off corner. There were many snow shovels.

I wandered over that way without telling anyone where I was heading. There were some really nice snow shovels, the kind you'd have for life. (Okay, just go along with me here.) They were $40 or so, but I knew that it was no use because I could never get one home.

I walked further on to the $10 shovels. Not nearly as nice, but still better than any snow shovel I'd find in Ireland. They were the right kind of shovel too - more of snow pushers than a snow lifters, perfect for the showery light amounts we get when it snows here. And best of all, they were held together by easy to remove screws, which meant I could disassemble one.

I grabbed one and headed off to find the family. My wife could tell what I was thinking from 20 feet. Her first words were, "We can't fit that in any of our cases." I already knew she was right, but when I told her it would come apart she said the words I was hoping to hear: "If you can get that apart, I can get it home." {She does all the packing.}

And that's what happened.

Now I have my brand new snow shovel, but I can't go out and show it off to the neighbors (they will be very impressed - NOT) unless we get some snow. That's why I want some snow. I want to use my new shovel. (Okay, stop sniggering.)

So, New York, next time the forecast calls for more snow do you think you could ask it to head on over here? Just remember, don't tell anyone where the request came from.

New Yorkers take snow personally

I see that the Northeast of America is getting some more wintry weather. The latest forecast has upgraded the coming storm, but it won't, apparently, be anything like the storm that dumped a couple of feet of snow just after Christmas.

I happened to arrive the day after that storm. As my flight landed at Newark Airport the plows were still clearing some of the 20" or so that fell the day before. It was a complete contrast to what we'd seen in Ireland before Christmas where snow-showers of an inch or two closed the airport for long stretches.

I don't want to be too critical of the Irish airport and roads authorities. They're simply not used to snow and there was an awful lot by normal standards (basically zero).

Still, despite the fact I knew the roads would be fine, it was impressive to see the massive snowbanks along the NJ Turnpike and other roads I traveled that day. The roads were completely dry and black. In Ireland it seemed like each half an inch of snow would still be there plaguing drivers days after it fell.

Still, it wasn't all plain sailing in the area and New York City in particular was still a mess when I arrived there 5 days later. People were annoyed. Actually, they were angry.

Kind of made me laugh because, as my wife said, people were taking the snow personally. It was as if the snow's presence was a personal affront. I know there were streets in the outer boroughs that were still unplowed days later, but that wasn't the case in the Manhattan neighborhood where I staying.

These people were mad, at the snow, but at the city too. They were mad because there were huge piles of snow along the parked cars and sidewalks. Just made me laugh because, well, what did they expect the city to do? It takes a long time for a 3½ft snow-bank to melt when the temperature is hovering around freezing.

All I could think about is how the people of Dublin would have loved those problems during our snowy weeks. Some of our roads were almost impassable days after 4 inches of snow fell and the walking on the sidewalks was literally like walking on a skating rink.

Yet, despite some understandable frustration, very few here got anywhere near as upset as what I heard in New York. People just weren't experienced enough to realize they should take it personally and be angry at the snow.

Carbon taxes driving Irish car owners off the road

You can keep your climate change bill and all the extra costs associated with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. The climate's changing and it's a calamity. Well, count me as a skeptic.

I'm not really a climate change skeptic, but I am a skeptic that it will be a calamity. I'm skeptical that getting rid of cars, planes, cows, washing machines, etc. is actually going to be for our betterment.

The climate has always changed. People adapt. That's what we - the human race - have always done.

Back when Newgrange was built in County Meath - 5,000 years ago - Ireland was warmer than it is today. The average Irish person today is pretty fair-skinned, but if we have to endure summer temperatures in the 80s as 'we' did when Newgrange was built, we'll adapt. Same goes if we get colder winters.

I'm a lot more worried about the price of gasoline (petrol) in Ireland today than I am about what the climate will be 2111. You want to say I'm selfish or stupid, I don't care. I'll adapt to your hot temper or cold stare too.

As you know, gas prices have been climbing steadily. I was in America for a 12 days after Christmas. I paid around $3.25 per gallon in upstate New York, which is by no means cheap. However, it doesn't come close to the price we're paying for gas here in Ireland.

At the current exchange rate a gallon of gas here is around $7.25 (€1.44/l). That's up from around $4.93 per gallon (€0.98/l) on this date two years ago.

Obviously, a big chunk of that increase is due to the huge rise in oil prices over that period. However, in Ireland only about a third of the price of a gallon of gas is accounted for by the price of oil. The rest is tax, and the taxes the Irish government levies on gasoline have also been rising steadily.

Over the past 18 months the government has added 18c in tax to the price of each liter of gasoline. That's nearly an extra $1 per gallon in taxes. There would be uproar in America if the government imposed such a tax on a gallon of gas at a time of skyrocketing oil prices.

Here, however, drivers have simply taken it because we're all aware that the government is bankrupt and taxes are rapidly being raised to try to close the budget gap. Nobody's happy about it, but we're grumbling and putting up with it.

That doesn't apply to the government's proposed climate change bill, however. This is a pet project of the government's minority party, the Greens. Not only is the government going to propose meeting the EU's ridiculous carbon emissions targets, but thanks to the Green Party's influence we're going to have the tightest emissions goals in the EU. We'll go far beyond what the EU demands of us!

You don't have to be a genius to work out that this is going to mean more tax on gas. A lot more tax. Money taken out of the pockets of Irish drivers to provide essentially zero benefit to anyone in Ireland. It should never happen - especially in the current climate.

Turn Ireland's foghorns back on

I am frequently out of step with the modern times, but I suspect I'm in a majority of people living on this small island who regret the decision of the Commissioners of Irish Lights to discontinue using foghorns.

The Commissioners say foghorns are no longer necessary as those who ply the seas today have ample electronic equipment to help them navigate; foghorns are no longer necessary.

I can't argue that point because I don't captain a freighter nor even a small sailboat. In fact I never go out to sea at all. {Although there are some who do sail the waters around Ireland who are opposed to the silencing of the foghorns.}

I say rational argument and new technologies be damned. I want the foghorns turned back on.

I love the sound of a foghorn on a murky Irish day. Do I need to hear it? No, of course not, but that sound is one of the things I enjoy about living near the sea. It's a wonderful sound on a day when vision is limited and everything seems so still. Sentimentality demands that the foghorns be turned back on.

I can accept that the foghorns may no longer be needed as a navigational aid, but does that mean they should be turned off? The foghorn was a way for us on land to call out to those who are at sea; a warning that they should take care.

Okay maybe they don't need to hear from us any longer, but that doesn't mean we should stop calling. I'd wager that sailors would still appreciate hearing from us, hearing the foghorn, even if some mechanical voice is telling them, "In two nautical miles, turn to starboard."